lay claim

I have not written in some time, and to any that would have liked to read more, I apologize.

Much has happened in the past few months,  Here’s a quick update before a longer following post:

1. Went to Colleyville, Denton, Colorado, New York, and back again for Christmas!
   
2. Was interviewed and read poems on Seattle Pacific’s radio station, KSPU. DJ Con Queso (Bekah Grim), Ben, and I had a great time! Audio of the interview can be found at kspu.org under Media > Interviews.
   
3. Realized I’ve been Seattling into this city for more than 6 months… :)
   
   

This week I had the privilege of seeing Jeanann Verlee and J.W. Baz at the Seattle Poetry Slam and then saw J.W. Baz’s show, No One Can Fix You, Friday night at the Fremont Abbey.  Over an amazing 90-minute monologue, he masterfully brought the room through past struggles and addictions in a way that had the whole room laughing one minute and silent under the weight of his words the next. The show was a seamless journey through heart-wrenching poems and painfully honest narratives. If you live close to anywhere he will be, I strongly recommend you attend the show. Check it out.

What I really want to discuss are reasons I couldn’t sleep when I got home.  After the show, my friend Dave (we met while at North Texas) and I talked about the artist life over sweet potato fries and waters. We are reminded clearly in Baz’s show that sacrifice is necessary to live as an artist. On the front end, and perhaps for the rest of life, there is little financial security, even after the countless hours on the road (which, for the spoken word artist are likely spent alone), and even at home your time is dictated by the need to create both opportunities to create and for others to hear/see you perform. Also, to have enough time for honing his/her craft, it seems an artist oftentimes must forfeit his/her full time job doing something else, unless perhaps if it is related to the art. I use the word ‘must’ loosely, because I personally know seriously talented artists who also work full time, but it seems that anyone who is making waves in their respective field came to a fork in the road between ‘normal job’ and go-for-broke-on-my-art and stepped with confidence down the latter path.  In brief conversations with Baz after the show, he assuredly spoke the truth he is now living – If you want something, you have to live like it’s yours, like you deserve to be there – No one is waiting for to find yet another writer, yet another sax player, yet another painter, yet another band, that is worth showcasing.  Some would even argue that these are the last thing the world needs. I would argue opposite them, but this is the sad truth of world we live in.

So the artist is left with a choice. Act like you’re serious business and mean it, or enjoy your art as a hobby. There’s nothing wrong with hobbies – they are perfect for anyone wanting to enjoy an activity without the pressure of needing to perform at a certain level. Yet, while freeing in its own way, the hobby leaves those who thrive on that challenge, or as Baz put it in his show, realize “I was made for this,” wanting, and oftentimes looking in hindsight with regrets.

We enter college, or don’t, with grand expectations for the future. Learn to learn, to live, to love. We graduate, some marry, some wait, some never do. We get jobs and certificates and maybe graduate degrees. We move one time, two times, five times. Get some land. Buy a car. Buy a house if you can. Blink. 60th birthday.

This is your life. What did you do? For those at this point, to look back on ones life with pure regret would be unfair. The life you live is a life; this magnificent fact should never be forgotten. And there is still today. What do you want to learn – today? Charge those mountains as if you were in your 20s and all you have to lose is yourself. But to the people who still see 40 as the top of the hill, what hills will you die on? Where are you going? Will you thank the God who lifts the sun over our horizons for these days, for your breath, with the way you populate them? Will the candles on that cake be jealous of you for the way you glow, or will your dreams look like their smoke? Please do not misinterpret these words – I am in no way criticizing self-sacrifice for others’ sake or laying aside your passions to further justice and Love in our world.  It is quite the opposite, I couldn’t be encouraging that more. The men and women who work 1,2, and 3 jobs to provide for their families live and die every day by their convictions based on the situation and need before them. The singer or business worker with a promising-future-as-Wall-Street-calls-it who moves to India to feed and heal the sick has discovered a deep something of love and the urgency of our lives, our humanity, that news headlines frequently tell us is all but gone from our world. They have given up sitting idly by, asking for direction, and obeyed what they are persuaded is truth until put on a different course.  I believe we are missing something if we do not follow their example.

We must lay claim to the thresholds that are placed in front of us. Our lives are but moments. Write sentences of your memoir every time you wake, so one day we will gaze smiling at each other through old birthday candles, retelling rock-bottoms and hit-our-head-on-the-clouds ceilings, rejoicing for the ways our bodies were used to inspire and love, like fertilizers for dying earth.